Both younger and older people may, for a wide variety of reasons, have trouble meeting people. Perhaps you are a younger person who is busy with college courses who is not interested in the bar scene. Or perhaps you are an older person with a demanding career that keeps you busy with meetings, travel, and additional obligations. Or perhaps you are someone who has just gone through a divorce, and now that you feel ready to "get back out there" you're just not sure where to begin. Before you get started either browsing ad personals, or creating your own personal ad, read a little bit about the whole process right here. Get some tips and more on how to go about finding that right person for you.
In today's culture, it can become increasingly difficult to meet people and subsequently find that ideal person. There are many reasons for this - with work, children, and other activities and obligations, many just don't have the time or patience to "get out there" via a bar or another social function. Personal ads through classifieds, as well as dating websites, can take some of that unnecessary time and effort out of the beginning of that search, narrowing down right away what you are looking for in a partner.
According a book published in 2009 entitled, "Classified: The Secret History of the Personal Column," the practice of using ad personals to seek mates has been in existence for over 300 hundred years. Clearly, with the addition of the internet in more recent times, taking advantage of personal ad services has advanced to whole new levels.
In the late 1600s, it was considered shameful to be a bachelor over the age of 21, and so matrimonial agencies printed ad personals for these men advertising for a decent wife. By the 1990s, personal ads had become significantly more socially acceptable than in years past; prior to that, there was a notion that if you were looking for someone through a personal ad then you must be a failure in some way, and that is just not true. Perhaps that notion of failure derives from those first ad personals used in the late 17th century, wherein people who were not married off in their late teens or twenties were considered abnormal; today, of course, things are much different.
Today, people are marrying later and later, and indeed some are choosing not to marry at all. However, many people of course still desire a mate, both males and females. As alluded to earlier, there are many reasons why people may choose to use personal ads, whether they are too busy to go out and "hit the scene," or they simply dislike the whole dating scene altogether, and wish to narrow down their potential mates in the privacy of their own home before going out and meeting them.
Regardless of what led you to personal ads, let us take a look at some solid advice for constructing your own ad; and, we have a few further links at the bottom of the page, so you can check out other resources as well. First and foremost, be honest. Do not embellish characteristics about yourself to appear more appealing to others. Remember that in a healthy relationship, the two people love and respect each other for who they are.
Be a little mysterious with your ad personal - don't share too much information too soon. And, have a little fun with your ad! This isn't supposed to be a chore, and it isn't a resume that you're trying to land a job with, so don't just list off facts about yourself like it is such. Read other ads first to get an idea of how they're used. If you see things you don't like about ad personals (for example, if someone sounds particularly phony) then take note of that and make sure not to do it with your own ad.
When you have made that first connection and you are actually out on your date, remember to continue to be honest and be yourself. Having your own hobbies and interests are attractive qualities to have. When you're on that first date and he or she says they're majorly into cooking, and you barely know how to heat a hot pocket, don't pretend otherwise. Instead, ask them questions about their hobby, and then share one of your interests with them.
Please do not feel discouraged if things don't go perfectly right away. Again, remember that dating is supposed to be fun - don't put so much pressure on yourself that you have to find Mr. or Mrs. Right with that very first ad, with that very first date. Don't rush the process; let it come naturally. In the meantime, enjoy meeting and spending time with new people, and learning things about yourself in the process.
A final word of advice for guys: This may go without saying, but please do pay on the first date. It's a good way to get started on the right foot and show respect for the lady. From that point on, you could even switch it off if things go well - she pays next time, you pay the time after, etc. But that very first date should, in almost all cases, be paid for by the guy. If the date is with two people of the same sex, then the person who initiated that first asking of the date should be the one to pay.
Remember, the worst thing that can happen from trying out ad personals is that you meet someone you don't click with. And let's face it, we all meet people we don't click with one way or another nearly every day anyway. Below, check out a few links to further information regarding personal ads: